Golden Globes

It has come to my attention that in order to garner a larger Readership, I should report on things topical and tropical, at least at first. Indeed, it is just as well. For here, I may espouse to you, Dear Reader, the merits and practices of that fine high dress code, black tie.

First, it should be noted that neck ties seem to be as acceptable for evening wear as bowties. It is just as well, and really makes no difference to me. Better to self-tie a field scarf, as the devil-dogs call them, than to wear a pre-tied bowtie; one might as well wear a choker. But please, Gentlemen, observe good practices in tying the knot.

Mr. Baldwin seems sober enough, which is all I suppose we can ask from those in his Clan, but notice that he has decided to wear the regrettable four-in-hand. Terrible indeed. It’s asymmetry calls to mind some misshapen knotting which would indeed prevent a young adolescent from receiving his merit badge. And we all know what that means. Also, Mr. Baldwin seems to have neglected to wear collar stays, and thusly his collar has collapsed against the weight of gravity and jowl.

Mr. Brokaw seems to have gotten the memo from Mystery.

Use those negs, Brokaw.

Velvet is unbecoming a man of his stature and prestige. Give him an ascot and he would give Christopher Walken a nightmare.

Then there are these young upstarts:

Certainly they weather the velvet better, but just because you can does not mean you should.

But all hope is not lost in Tinselton.

Oh. Hello.

Understated. Dignified. Proportional. Such are the marks of a man ready for to receive and give recognition. Black tie is an exercise in tones, and the right amounts of black accented with white can make all the difference. Note also his symmetrical tie knot.