I love fashion but I hate you.

Spring Fling

via alex grant

In New York City, it’s 56 degrees and overcast, which to New Yorkers qualifies as a “gorgeous day”. It’s only a matter of time before we see our equivalent of a Ground Hog — the first pair of short shorts worn by an overzealous guy in Chelsea (we call this day “Shorts Hog Day”). Despite not having any natural sunlight for the past three months, the man’s legs will inexplicably be a golden brown, all the way up to the hip, which the short shorts will of course reveal.

And as retarded as New York is about what it considers “good” weather, I can’t really hate. It’s been so God-awfully shitty for the past few weeks that I’d welcome the biblical hail-that-turns-into-fire-when-it-touches-the-ground, if only because at least we’d get a bit of warmth from it.

As the tanned, recently shaved haunches of any Chelsea resident will tell you, Spring is in the Air. In fact, it’s. all. anyone. can. talk. about (then again, it’s spring, so everyone is also. talking. about. fall. Already.) And if spring is here, you know that people will once again be dressing like they were in the Skulls and Bones society at Princeton. The “prep revival” has exploded since Take Ivy got mainstream notice.

There was a time when it was a bad thing to be called “preppie”. It used to be cool to run up against “the Man” and the Establishment. But then everybody realized that “The Man” got seven-figure bonuses, and now designers are working with said Establishment.

But in an example of irony so stunning it may cause a hernia, it could be possible that Prep can become the new “edgy scene”, complete with “old schoolers” ready to defend the look for encroaching “wannabes”. Check out J.Press by Urban Outfitters.

Already people are lamenting that the prep look is “so tired already” and how they were “into this stuff in high school”. Somehow, the yuppies have become the besieged authentics, fighting off the encroaching newbies who didn’t earn their school colors. Soon, we can expect to see the Harvard Equestrian Team holding teach-ins about “saving their stables” and riot police will be called into Dartmouth to quell the school’s rowing crew, who have chained themselves to their oars. “Hell NO! We won’t ROW!” will be their battle cry.

I, for one, love tired looks, which is why I can’t wait to break out my various knit striped ties and those khakis with little fowl on them. Let’s just hope that it’s resistant to fire-hail.

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