I love fashion but I hate you.

dumpy and fried chicken style

Hello, children.

As a commenter pointed out, the pic in my last post was indeed taken at Choice Market, which is Brooklyn’s way of getting snooty French food and service without opening a Vie de France in the neighborhood (it would ruin the gentrifying aesthetic).

But Choice isn’t my only place to stalk douchebags, hipsters, and dipsters**, I also managed to capture a few in their native environment — Williamsburg.

The great thing about style is that sometimes a guy can be so stylish he just looks dumpy. But then, like some kind of fashion Circle of Life, a guy can be so dumpy he’s stylish, like this fellow:

Homeless-guy parka? Check. Huge bag seemingly made out of a quilt? Check. Bicycle helmet from Walmart or something? Yup. Dude is like some of Japanese version of Derelict. He’s like your uncle from the old country who thinks it’s OK to use grocery bags as luggage. You know he can pull this off, though, because he’s going inside his quilt bag is like three bolts of premium cashmere he’s going to use as part of his master’s dissertation at Parsons, and probably five liters of miso paste he got from his cousin in the yakuza.

There was also this guy, who no doubt is a card-carrying member of the dreaded No Break movement.

The best part, though, was his hair:

Dumpy homeless guy-cum-artists and unfortunate samurai hair aside, I did manage to catch this fellow:

Note the green shoes, too. He’s like Colonel Sander’s British roommate. Guys like him give me hope that old age might end up being an enormous sex party after all.

**dipster – an amalgation of douchebag and hipster. This next evolutionary step in the trendsetter genus (trendsetticus) dipsters combine the pretentious judgeyness of a hipster with the financial resources of a douchebag. As such, they’ll be into (and are willing to purchase) a number of select, “curated”, and very expensive products such as: selvedge jeans from Japan (or almost anything from Japan), high-end SLR cameras, $5000 fixed gear bicycle frames (just the frames), esoteric coffee preparation equipage (again, preferably from Japan).

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