Let’s get something straight here: I may be a gentleman, but I’m also an imbecile. Were it not for a phalanx of helpful, gloved robot hands, I’d barely know how to get out of bed and put on my japanese selvedge denim, much less surf the intertubes and post on this electronic circular.
I’m often so oblivious to the world outside my immediate range of sight that I’m regularly startled when I “discover” new menswear blogs. I’m even more startled when I find how specific, fetishizing, and pedantic these blogs tend to be. Case in point, Everyday Carry, “found” via Valet Mag, a site dedicated to literally the stuff we have in our pocket or, in the parlance of EDC, “pocket dumps.”**
We’ve gotten to the point, as the menswear community, that we are not merely concerned with trousers, but also the contents of these trousers. It’s interesting to see how the items in your EDC “kit” becomes a reflection of your manhood, or perhaps more accurately, the manhood you wish to project.
This is fairly typical of what people seem to submit as their EDCs. You can’t be a man without the following:
1) Fancy, divey watch.
2) Wallet, preferably a front pocket one, or one that you made, or even better, your grandfather made and carried to Omaha Beach on D-Day.
3) A knife. You have to have a knife. Sometimes you have two or three knives and a multi-tool. Why so heavily armed? Fuck those Crips is why.
4) Keychain. Can’t just be a regular keychain, though. It’s got to be able to affix to your pants. A climbing carabiner is good (because besides being a knife-toting tough, you’re also a nature loving quasi-ranger).
5) A cloth. No Kleenexes for you, oh no. You wipe your brow and blow your nose on nothing less than japanese selvedge coton.
6) Phone and, in this case, a leather cover for your phone, preferably also from your grandfather when he carried his iPhone on the beaches of Normandy.
7) Man we’re on the 7th thing. How many pockets do I have? Ok, well don’t forget your flashlight. A nice tactical one from a law enforcement website that boasts 5,000 lumens at least.
8 ) Ok this is getting ridiculous. Phone. If you have a fancy phone, it actually probably makes redundant half of the things in your EDC. Trust me, there’s an app for that.
Ok so based on the above your Everyday Carry, you are a: Diver, Knife Fighter, Mythbuster, Forest Ranger, and Police Officer. You’re so manly that you have five different manly jobs at once. You’re actually have 5.5 manly jobs if you add in your actual day job as shift manager at Khols.
I’ll be honest, carrying shit is awesome. Call it the “Boy Scout” gene. We men love having the perfect tool for the specific situation? Need to open up a can at the bottom of a lake before surfacing and purchasing something online? Good thing you’ve got your multi-tool, diving watch, phone and wallet!!
I used to carry a lot of stuff on me as well. It’s funny because when you have a need to really open stuff a lot, you end up just carrying a box cutter. Of course, there aren’t custom box cutters made out of 154 CM steel, so people don’t carry them around. Think of that grocery store clerk. He’s not whipping out his pearl-handled blade, he’s carrying a crappy but effective cutter from Home Depot. I guess you can add “grocery store clerk” that to your list of jobs.
**pocket dump can also refer to a sexual practice in which a male has intercourse with a female and then, just before ejaculation, uses a compass and flashlight he was carrying in his cargo pocket to aim his ejaculate towards true north.