I love fashion but I hate you.

the east

I’m not a huge fan of steampunk, but the basic premise is cool: the mixing of old world aesthetics with “newer world”┬ásensibilities. Ultimately, I think the draw of steampunk is the fact that it let’s you dress up in your favorite olde thymey (see what I did there?) clothes, but still have the convenience of flush toilets and airships that double as robots. You know, basic things.

I’ve then wondered what it would be like if modern warriors had old (and I mean old) way styling. Taking it a step further, why not have the warrior look good while layeth-ing down the smack? Back in the day, battles were pretty much the equivalent of a rave: you really wanted to stand out so you could brag later about how many footsoldiers you smited. So then: armor with a fine blazer? Why not? AR-15 in a Gucci handbag? Makes sense to me.

Here’s my take on what a fashion-warrior would take into battle. First, the East. A samurai with style. A shinobi with snaz. Etc.

Nike Air Trainer III “Viotech”

White Mountaineering jacket

Glock 19 – Compact and deadly, like a bad burrito

Felt Tk1 Track Bike – he can’t ride into battle on a broomstick, can he?

Gucci Shoulder Bag – for keeping battlefield trophies

Mr. Bathing Ape Camo Tie

A Bathing Ape Hat

Armor, 17th Century – duh.

Next time: England prevails.

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